It's Not Ok and It Is Important
During the same period an awareness campaign has been running for sexual abuse and sexual violence with the theme #itsnotok.
All-of-You Therapy would also like to spread and show our absolute support for both messages. We have written about our work with children’s mental health based on Place2Be training.
Rape Crisis Scotland have written about the #itsnotokay campaign and we'd just like to say, it is okay to like their posts, it isn't support for the atrocities they highlight but for the fantastic work they do. It is a travesty to see their posts with only one or two likes, come on people, how else can we open up the conversation? It may feel awkward, but we need to talk! We have also worked with survivors of sexual abuse for several years and from words we’ve heard, we’d like to say.
#itsnotok without consent
#itsnotok because you’ve let them hug you
#itsnotok if you’re underage
#itsnotok because you said yes when you didn’t know any better
#itsnotok because of how you dressed
#itsnotok because it was the only person you felt loved you
#itsnotok because you didn’t say no sooner
#itsnotok because they helped you
#itsnotok just because it happened a long time ago
#itsnotok because they act as though nothing has happened
#itsnotok for you to have to give something in return
#itsnotok for your trust to be betrayed
#itsnotokay to have your childhood stolen from you
#itsnotokay to make you feel you’re guilty, worthless, ashamed and unlovable
These are responses to some of the feelings we’ve heard described over the years. Whilst writing this, I’ve had to resist the urge to write, it is okay to…. coming from someone spending time speaking with survivors and reminded myself to stick to the theme. However, now I will say…
…It is okay to feel angry. It is okay to feel furious. It is okay to be happy. It is okay to give yourself credit for who you are and what you are and to allow yourself to feel good again. It is okay to feel love. It is okay to trust again. It is okay to feel proud of you. It is okay to love you. It is okay to fight.
I know my short blog won’t cover all possible personal feelings and responses to such a complex issue. I was careful to be sensitive as I know there are layers, complexities and nuances to every personal situation, especially one so fraught with emotional trauma and weight.
We wanted to let you know don’t need to face any of it without support and #itsnotokay for you to feel alone any longer.
You can contact me on firstname.lastname@example.org or find other support on the campaign website.